New Website Helps "Exaholics" Get Over Their Exes

NY Post – It’s that point after a breakup when you’ve totally tapped out the support of your friends and family. You can’t stop analyzing that final voicemail your ex left and refreshing his Facebook page every 10 minutes. You may be an exaholic. And the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. Fortunately, there’s a new website that provides an outlet for down-and-out singletons. By treating breakups like addictions, exaholics.com provides a 12-step plan modeled after Alcoholics Anonymous — which can take a few weeks or a few months, depending on your pace — plus inspiring articles and tips posted by experts, and online chat forums where misery can find company. The new site has about 1,500 registered users and nearly 10,000 monthly visitors. “An exaholic has a very difficult time moving on,” explains Dr. Lisa Bobby, the Denver-based therapist who created the program for the New York-based site. “They’re hooked into the relationship, and it’s difficult for them to heal and move on. They will use words like ‘devastation’ and talk about the loss — they tend to think fairly obsessively about their ex and have trouble in day-to-day life as a result of that.” Natalia, who lives in California and asked that her last name not be used, broke up with her boyfriend more than two years ago. She stumbled upon the site about a month ago while Googling terms like “boyfriend obsession.” “It’s so embarrassing that I didn’t talk about it with friends anymore. It was a dirty little secret,” says Natalia, who previously tried therapy. “I’m not an addictive personality, but this was an obsession. I couldn’t stop trying to find out information — Googling his name every day.” The 56-year-old has found compassion from her new online friends on the site and credits the 12-step program with getting her to a point of neutrality — neither loving nor hating her ex.

Listen I’m not trying to sound like a tough guy here. Getting dumped sucks. We’ve all been there. We’ve all compulsively checked a facebook page and scrolled through new pictures and done a little stalking of an ex. Everyone knows its tough to move on from someone. But if you reach the point where you deem yourself an “exaholic” and you need a 12 step rehab program you’re either a gigantic pussy or a complete psychopath. Or just a standard, run of the mill female. Really thats what chicks are when you think about it – crazy pussies. But to take it to the point where you need a doctor and rehab to get over someone is just crazy.

We’re talking about someone who basically told you to go fuck yourself. Yea, they may have let you down easy. Sure, they may have had some reasons. So made up excuses. But when you get dumped its basically someone saying “Ehhhh I don’t really like you enough.” Well fuck that person then. You don’t need an Exaholic Program. You need to just put your big boy pants on, root for that person to fail professionally, romantically and socially, and go fuck somebody new. Thats what the rest of us do. You’re not “addicted” to your ex and you don’t have a “problem.” You just need to stop being a lunatic pussy.